It all started with a “long time ago” kind of dream

I wished, prayed and desired you

And one early morning as I got sick I though

“Here we go!!”

I will finally get to hold my own little one…

What would you look like?

Would you have my button nose?

I shall wait and see

But at six months, already feeling your kicks and leaps

I discovered this journey of you and I wouldn’t be long

I went from choosing your little room décor

To deciding whether or not to have a burial

You still danced in my belly strong

 And I read you Dr. Seuss books

We took walks on the beach daily

And ate tons of ice cream

My greatest fear in having you was letting you go

After all in my tummy you were safe

I sat still knowing God had a plan

But I will miss you everyday

Giving birth will never compare to anything else in this life

And holding you was worth every minute of it

You left too soon

With an emptiness in my heart I stayed

You were the greatest thing I had happen to me Harlow Ka’alele

And you will always be my first born

There is not a day I don’t wish you were here

This mother’s day I send you my love

Why, why did you have to go?

That I will never really know

But the hour I spent with you

Was the greatest hour of my life

I wish I could watch you grow…

Play with you…

And teach you all I know

But I know you are with God and I must let you go

I desire to be someone’s mom someday.

But don’t worry little one

You will always be my first one

The one who showed me the woman I could be

I am forever grateful I met u my angel

You shaped me in every way

One day I will meet you again

And will give you the tightest hug one could ever give away

Until we meet again

I pray you play in heaven’s grounds

As your mother, I will always worry about you

You are in great hands and with that I leave you to be happy and FREE